OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
