So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
God I need to hump something, right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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