I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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