fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
