He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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