If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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