I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
false alarm. still invincible.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
