you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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