Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
