when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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