too bad you live with your parents still
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
