So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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