i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
