I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
