whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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