They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
