She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
