Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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