is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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