I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
