My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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