You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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