Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
