True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
