What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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