her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
