foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
