there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
