I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Found your dick twin last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
