He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
