Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you had me at cake vodka
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
