That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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