Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
