Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
