Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
