.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
