whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
