So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
