my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
