Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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