Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
