Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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