I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
