Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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