it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
