You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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