i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
