sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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