i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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