I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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